H = house organizer
E = encourager
L = lover
P = partner
M = mother
A = aspiring Christian
T = trusting friend
E = easy follower
Do you know what it means to be a “helpmate”? You hear the term a lot in matters of relationships between a man and his wife. “Women should be a helpmate to their men,” they say—-and they’re right. My preacher said a few Sundays ago, “A wife should be a helpmate who puts an exclamation (!) point on her husband’s life.”
What did he mean?
He meant that when your husband comes home discouraged, you lift him up, praise him, love him. It means that when he comes home from work you have his house clean and organized. It means you have his supper fixed. It means you have his kids sweet and disciplined. It means you follow him where he leads. It means he can trust you with his heart. It means you can discuss life’s problems and share your feelings. It means even when he feels like giving up, you set the example by being the Christian wife God made you to be…
Wait a minute, you’re thinking. Just hold on. I’m just a teenager! I haven’t even THOUGHT about marriage.
I know that. It’s a long ways away, and I won’t pretend it isn’t. But doesn’t the Bible say that those who have ears, let them hear? Those with eyes, let them see? To seek knowledge and wisdom?
The biggest part of our life will be filling the role of a wife. It will be putting aside our needs and wants to satisfy his. It will be making the sacrifice and loving when we don’t feel like it. It will be failing together. It will be falling together. Crying together. Breaking together…
But you do it together. Some girls will go into marriage with the idea that it’s all roses and chocolates. They don’t want to work, and they don’t want to be a helpmate. So they don’t. Then comes the heartaches, the tears. Trials knock them down and they can’t get back up. Instead of breaking together and healing together, they just break.
So your husband and you are going on a date. The kids are home with a babysitter. You haven’t gone out alone in so long, and you spent hours on your hair…
“Let’s go to Taco Bell, babe. That sounds really good to me right now.”
Taco Bell? But he knows their food gives you stomach aches, and it’s so inexpensive, and you really were wanting to go to Red Lobster. How could he be so insensitive?
“Alright, dear. Whatever you’d like,” you say. So you go and you eat some tacos. Then your stomach hurts and his breath smells like cheap coffee and your kids keep calling the cellphone…
But you did the right thing. Know why? Because men can’t stand nagging wives! Marriage goes two ways: if you put his needs first, he’ll want to put yours first. If you always push to get your way, even though you know he doesn’t like it, it will push him away from you.
So basically what I’ve been trying to say is…
Be a helpmate. Help your husband. Help him. Help him. Help him over and over again until you feel all “helped” out. Put his needs first. Follow him. Mother his children. Clean his house. Brag on him. Love him. Pray with him and for him.
If you’re the wife you should be, when the storm comes it won’t send you on one side of the boat, and him on the other. It will push you together. ♥