…turn into CLUBS and SPADES.
You know how it is in the love stories. It ends with a declaration of hidden affection, a charming proposal, or even a wedding. It ends with hearts united and blossoming—with diamonds glittering on her finger like drops of dew in early spring…
And then the book ends, leaving you feeling dazzled and romantic. As if everything were perfect and their life will hold only love and bliss in the beautiful future.
But let’s face it. You’re reading fiction. The author didn’t move the story forward, because doing so would have left an unexciting, less romantic, and melodramatic end. She wanted you smiling, not rolling your eyes.
Because real marriage is hard!
You marry a man you love and respect, who does great things for God and adores you. You spend a wonderful honeymoon week with him, and you move into your new home as his wife. But then your life moves on. You fall into a steady routine of living. You cook and clean and he works and comes home.
And you love each other.
There are special moments—moments you look at him with such admiration that you feel as though you could melt at his feet.
But there are bad moments, too. Moments when he annoys you so bad you could strangle him. Moments when you feel as though all you get done is moving behind him, picking up his stinky socks, hanging up his wet towels, and scrubbing at the mud stains on your cream colored carpet.
But that’s not that bad, right? I mean, after all, he is a man. But that’s not it…
What about the moments when you catch your godly husband doing wrong? You think, “How could such a godly man watch a movie like that?” or “How could he rub that snuff?” or “Why won’t he pay his tithe, when he knows better?”
And you lose respect. Not a lot, maybe, but enough. Enough that you keep bringing it up, because you’re bothered. Enough that you nag him, trying to make him see, trying to make him understand…
But that’s not your job. Being a wife doesn’t mean you have to “fix” your husband. Tell him how you feel, but then you’ve got to let it go. You’ve got to let God work on his heart. You’ve got to love him the way he is without stipulations.
But isn’t ignoring it almost like…condoning his sin? Saying I’m okay with it?
No. Never. If you told him how you feel, then he knows—and that’s all you can do. But if you nag him, hound him, bother him, he’ll push away from you—and that will only make matters worse. Keeping silent, despite the fact you disagree, shows him you love him. If he walks with God, then your submissiveness and God’s tug at his heart might convict him.
As teenage girls, marriage is a good ways off—or so it seems. But in reality, it will come sooner than we think. We’ll be faced with problems we don’t understand. Our husband is going to mess up. Disappoint us. Anger us. And even fail us.
So what do we do?
We love him anyway. We forgive. We zoom-out of the negative zone and concentrate on the good zone. It’s not your job to change him. It’s God’s.
Love may start out with diamond rings and cherished hearts, but sometimes it ends with husband and wife wanting to beat each other with clubs and shovel spades.
Don’t be that kind of wife. Don’t drive your husband away from you. Don’t be a nag and a critic, be a cheerleader.
Your husband will love you for it, and God will bless your marriage!!!