I’m so consumed with right now. With today. With this moment. I see each day as it comes, taking one step at a time, doing the task at hand. I’m living my life—and I’m happy. How could I not be? All around me, I see blessings. Everywhere I look, no matter where I am, no matter what I’m doing. Thousands upon millions upon trillions, until the extent of those blessings far surpasses any number. I am rich in joy. I am free. I am sanctified. I am a Christian. I am saved. I get to wake up each morning, knowing my God walks beside me. I am protected, guided, sheltered by a loving Savior. I stand among the redeemed.
But sometimes I forget what it took. I must stop. I must pause my life, just for a while, to reflect on what might have been. Because it could have been so different. So many things could have gone wrong. It took over two thousand years of planning, for God to get me to where I am today.
It started at Calvary. For me to ever get saved, God knew He’d have to send His son. Jesus died, willingly, knowingly. Can’t help wondering. Did He think of me? When He prayed in the garden . . . when God turned His face away . . . when the Lamb bled on the cross, was His mind on me?
Then the disciples. God spread His gospel through those men, so that they told others, and others told Paul. When God sent the Apostle Paul to the Gentiles, didn’t He know I’d be in their lineage? So many times, Paul’s life was endangered. So many times, he almost died. What if he had? What if he’d been stoned to death, before he ever told enough people the truth? Would I have ever heard? Would I be saved, right now?
I can’t help but remember the Mayflower. God guided the vessel of Christians through an unruly sea, to a new land—and He gave them freedom. He sent great men to lead our country. He gave us blessings and wisdom. He made us prosperous. What if the British had won? What if America had been forced to bend to their rules, their religion, instead of our own? Would I have ever heard or believed the truth?
God spread revivals through America. He touched hearts. He sent down fire from Heaven. Think of all the men He called to preach the Word. What if He hadn’t? Without preachers, there would have been no churches. With no churches, would our faith have died?
I have a goodly heritage. All four of my grandparents are saved. Who first told them the truth? Was it their parents? Who told them? What if they hadn’t?
My granddaddy was saved as a little boy, but it was farther into his life before he truly surrendered his life to Christ. What day was it that he realized? At what moment did he understand that Jesus was worth serving? What if God had given up on him? Where would I be now?
And my granny. At nineteen years old, she watched both of her parents drown in a frozen river. I can’t imagine that kind of grief. How she must have hurt inside, how broken she must have felt. But what if that’s what made it real to her? What if that grief, as horrible as it may have been, is what gave her the strength to reach for God? What if her relationship became deeper, more real, because of that tragedy? What would she have been like, if that had never happened? Would she know God, like she knows Him now?
Because of what God did in their lives, my mother accepted Jesus into her heart. Sometime down her path, God turned her life around. He taught her surrender. He showed up at a church service one night and changed her life forever. What if God hadn’t been there? What if no one had prayed for the service, what if no one had strived for His presence? What if God had been too busy to convict her heart?
Where would I be, if God hadn’t done all these things? It’s like a plan. I look back, I unroll it, like a historical map that I can spread out before me. Look what He’s done. Look at all the things that might have went wrong, but He didn’t let them.
He did it for me. So I could be here. Today. So I could live this life . . . that I’m living. So I could be saved. So I could know Him. So I could be His servant. So I could be His friend. So I could be His child.
I don’t know what to think. I feel like He changed the world, so I could be exactly where I am, right now. I am amazed. I feel blessed, more blessed than anyone. I feel like His only child. I feel like everything He’s done has been just for . . . me. Because He loves . . . me. I can’t imagine. I can’t even comprehend.
Look at how much it took. Just so I could be His. Just so I could be a Christian.
He did all of that for me.
It took so much . . . so much that I don’t ever want to mess up His plan. So many lives could be changed. So many people could be affected. I don’t want to surrender to the world, to my flesh, to the devil. I want to be strong. I want to be used.
I want to be part of God’s amazing plan.